Ingredients:
    2 caps 5-HTP
    4 aspirin
    delicious Shiraz, 1 bottle
    85% dark chocolate w/ cacao nibs, 1 bar
    running water, hot

1. Turn on shower and allow steam to fill room
2. While waiting, begin blasting Portishead as loud as possible
3. Using approximately 100ml of wine, wash down the pills
    (now may be the optimal time to take whatever else was left over from last night)
4. Enter shower with wine and chocolate in hand
5. Stand facing awaay from shower head, water blasting directly onto top chakra
6. Place one chocolate square in mouth (do NOT bite down)
7. Fill mouth with wine, swallow slowly until chocolatte is dissolved
8. Repeat as necessary.

The sun sets at 4:45pm, and it's not even December yet. Interesting, as the sun has usually barely risen when  ride to school at 8:30am. Before we decide on an adviser (whose lab we shall work in for the next 5ish years), we do three month "rotations" in three different labs. In a departure from the ordinary (departing from the ordinary is in itself not a departure from the ordinary for myself and most of those who may read this), I made up my own rotation project for the lab I'm in right now. Since this project is completely "my baby", I tend to work on it 8-10 hours a day Mon-Fri. I've never worked this hard, and I've never felt like I was doing real ORIGINAL science as much as I do right now. My control 'experiments'  (this is all inside the computer, mind you)  FUCKING WORKED, and I am mildly ecstatic, as I  went WAY out in Mathemajik Land,  got an answer, and came back to reality, and my method predicts things that actually have a very real physical interpretation. My problem (no way, Indigo. You?) is ambition. I basically told my PI that I was going to try to solve the protein folding problem (a 50-year old problem) in three months. I am not, nor does she expect that. However, I can't really get motivated until I see the whole picture, so there you go.
I most likely will not end up in her lab, because I'm more interested in protein design.

(If my writing style suddenly changes here, it's because I got up to decant boiling water off of rice and boiled my finger a bit in the process. Merlot > pain.)

Baker is basically THE GUY IN THE WORLD for protein design. He (meaning his lab (meaning his grad students)) is the first/only to redesign  a homing endonuclease for a new target (change a DNA-cutting molecule/machine to recognize a different DNA sequence) and is the first/only to rationally design a completely novel protein fold family. In short, WAY rockstar. In shorter, I'm ALL UP in that Koolaid, yo. I just wrote a NSF (National Science Foundation) grant proposal. I think that the government should give me money to use computers to redesign a virus to specifically target cancer/tumor cells. I'm pretty sure it can be done; all the peices are there, but no one has put them together yet. Developing cancer therapies is great and all, but what I'm really after is a way to target viruses to ANY cell-type you may wish, which would be great for gene therapy. You may not be familiar with gene therapy, or the idea of using viruses as medicine, but you will be soon. Clinical trials began in the early 90's. There were some hiccups (read "some already terminally ill kids got leukemia"), but many of those problems have been addressed, and the next wave is hitting clinical trials and doing well. I'm gonna ride this wave. Hang 10, brah.

When individuals come unstuck from their native land they are called migrants. What is the best thing about migrant peoples? I think it is their hopefullness. Look into the eyes of such folk in old photographs. (thank you Monkey)

I now live in Seattle. Like, all the way. My apartment is well and thoroughly nested, I start schooly things tomorrow, and I have some friends. But I get ahead of myself; I shall summarize the events since last briefly, and expound upon some of the more notable notes when I am not paying by the minute to use an internet cafe computer (my laptop has a case of notfuckingworkingitis.)

My going away party was good. It was different than I imagined, which was a good reminder of the fact that making plans is the best way to be surprised. I gave Tiko her pudding wrestling, unexpectedly saw some dear ones from Back in The Day, and got to say my goodbye speech. The next day I did my best to spoil Tiko for her XXX birthday. Apologies to those who tried to hang out with me that day; I had reserved that day for months.

The next morning I promptly hopped into my pre-loaded Ryder truck, picked up my dad, and the two of us set out on a four-day roadtrip to Seatown. I learned that Nebraska is even more boring than Kansas, my dad is really chill and nice to hang out with for long periods in succession, Wyoming is beautiful in a sparse way, and Ryder trucks are pretty nice to ride in.

I arrived in Seattle Saturday afternoon and unloaded the truck. I slept in my new apartment for the first time, woke up, and drove to Reno. I woke up in Reno at a casino (thank you a thousand time for everything James, Josh, and Mari) and drove to Burningman.

I experienced every emotion I am capable of experiencing with great intensity in the desert. I learned a few extremely important lessons, was reminded of many more, had fun, tested almost every limit I have (mostly endurance-related), made new friends, grew closer to old friends, and came away more man and more child than before. I may expound upon this further at a later date.

I left and spent two more nights in Reno. I attended a hip hop pool party at a swanky casino with Bassnectar and Glitch Mob, indulged to excess, paid the price for it, and pondered many things on the 12 hour ride back home, the last 12 hours of my 48 hour no-sleep-partyathon.

I made it home alive, crashed, awoke, and began unpacking. My apartment is FUCKING SUPER TOTALLY. For cereal, guys, come crash at my too large for one person in the middle of all the cool stuff downtown apartment. I had already made friends with Gwen and Tom (ex-Austin 2nd degree friends, thank you a thousand times, Denshi) when I had visited prior, and they introduced me to Rachel and Chris (similarly ex-Austin). I hung out with them a few times, and now they are my friends. My name here is 'Indigo'. If you here about someone named Indigo, andit sounds like me, it probably is. It is comforting to hear them talk about people that I know in Austin, and to compare things here to Austin. It makes this place feel more connected to home. The are totally awesome in many ways and have shown me great kindness; for this I am thankful. They led me on a bike ride to a park in Seattle. It was on the beach, the grass was super soft, there were no bugs, it was 70degF and not a cloud in the sky, and the sun set over the mountaintops on the other side of the water while DJ's spun downtempo in the park. Beautiful.

I am making this place home. I live in the middle of Capitol Hill, which is like a cross between South Austin, 6th St., and the campus area, except without the students or school-related things. I ride my bike EVERYWHERE, because it's actually possible to do that here without fearing death by car everywhere you go. I am 5 blocks from the Wheatsvillesque food coop, four blocks from the coolest electronic music venue I'm aware of, one block from what many have told me is the "best coffee shop in Seattle," and next to a large, beautiful park. It looks like this:
 http://zorba.members.winisp.net/images/calanderson.JPG

I came back from burningman fairly reset, and I had nothing 'normal' here to readjust to coming home. I have been establishing new patterns, new behaviors, and thinking alot; incorporating things learned inthe last few weeks into my life aat an unprecedented rate. Here are some of the main things. They may not apply to everyone.

1. Spend more time with your mouth shut and your mind open. I realized that I have reached the point where I know just enough to know that I dont really know much about anything at all. I wish to learn.

2. Give thanks for everything you are given. I remember now to give thanks for the person who spent the extra money to buy nice chairs for this internet cafe. Seriously, everything. When possible, TELL the person(s) about your gratefulness OUT LOUD. Tell the peole who are important to you that they are important, and why. Tell them often. DO NOT ASSUME WHAT OTHERS DO AND DO NOT KNOW ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE THINKING/FEELING. Tell them, even if they don't ask.

3. You will ALWAYS be missing something awesome, at every moment of every day, until you die. Relax. Just enjoy what you have, and go after what you want to, doing what you can with what you have. Example: You will have more fun if you sleep as much as you need (whatever that is), even if you miss lots of fun things becasue you are sleeping.

4. The people you love are always more important than that party/event.

There's more, but I have to go. Au revoir, hermanos y hermanas.

**** Double Plus Awesome Talent Show-A-Thon 3000 Spectacular ***

Ever wonder what amazing, or not so amazing, talents your friends have? 
Got a good, bad, or just plain fun talent that could be entertaining?
Ever wonder what it would be like to be on stage in front of a bunch of supportive, enthusiastic fans?
Got undergarments you're dying to throw on stage or body parts that need a star's signature?

We've got all that and more, More, MORE!!!

Explore the hidden mysteries of pinatas - UPDATE:  Depends on weather!
Take a tumble in the moon bounce
Partake in the ultimate talent show inspiration - a cold keg of beer
Watch and/or participate in astounding acrobatics, balancing, and other hijinks
Be amazed at what talents are discovered in the wee hours of the morning
Listen, bob your head, and dance to the DJs doin what they love best

But wait!
Just for attending you will receive a gift of clothing actually worn by THE Chris King

Also:
Give your respects to the fabulous Chris King mere days before he moves to Seattle. 
Warm Izabela, Elliot, and Paul's awesome new home
Wish Stephanie a happy 30th (XXX) birthday!
Spank Nick on his ???th birthday!

Possible talents for the show include (but are in NO way limited to):
Dance, martial arts, fire, clowning, pudding wrestling, acrobatics, audience participation games/pieces, skits, telling/reading stories or poems, showing how to make/do something neat, playing music, giving gifts, belittling people until they cry, making funny noises, doing people's makeup, reading taro, massage, comedy of all sorts, lap dances, hula hoop battling, stupid human tricks, coding, visual arts, video game prowess, burlesque, contortion,  and displays of physical or mental strength!
You don't have to get up on the stage, but this is a NO SPECTATORS EVENT. Whatever you love or do best, BRING IT!  We love you and want to see your quirky, special natures!

Please feel free to contact Izabela or I for further details or to brag on what tallent you're going to display.  Also, *please* let us know if you will require any special services or things for your talent show(s) like a spotter, certain amount of room, a tarp, cleanup crew, a safety person, a sacrificial walnut, etc.  We will have a mixer with a microphone and four RCA inputs.

Saturday, Aug 18th
Doors open at 10pm
Dress like the talented star you are (fabulous, totally rad, or classy as fuck.)
7308 Loganberry Dr
Austin TX 78745
google map
yahoo map

See ya there!
Kris    5129233069    krisque@gmail.com
Izabela 469-441-7581   izabelau@gmail.com
Current Music: Just Jack - Starz In Their Eyes

I used a chainsaw for the first time this weekend. It was fucking awesome, especially after drinking a few Tecate's. The wood chipper is great too. You can feel the vibration through the trunk of the tree as the teeth grind into it. Thank you everyone that helped teach me some power-toolin'. I'm covered in cool looking scratches, but unfortunately my hands are like claws; not so great for a job where I type and write all day. Sat. night was wholesome and warmhearted, 40deg weather or no. I got to establish rapport with a few people I see alot, but never really talk to. I'm totally there at the next one. Many thanks for learning; many thanks for opulence; many thanks for the ensuing humility.

I'm going to go visit Seattle on Wednesday-Saturday. The excitement is magnified by the apprehension. In case you haven't gotten the memo, I'm moving to Seattle in August for about 5 years. I've never lived outside of Austin. Sitting here at school, I look outside and I see this little park on campus I used to play in when I was a little kid. My network of aquaintances, friends, and loved ones here has been growing since I was born. I've never lived more than 35min away from my parents. Every time I go somewhere else, I get this indescribable sigh of relief and soothing warmth as soon as I see the skyline here.
    Every time I think about moving I literally get a visceral, tactile sensation of ice inside my chest and it feels hard to breathe, like jumping into cold water. It is this very fear which necessitates my departure. It is this UNKNOWN which makes its exploration ESSENTIAL. Yes, I do look forward to adventures and exploration and new things, but I don't feel a pressing need to cathart about the good parts. (Am I allowed to verb-itize "cathartic"?) (Am I allowed to verb-itize "verb"?)
    I have spent many years building here. I have many people in my life here that I truly trust, and have good reason to trust. In this last year, my social life has changed appreciably. Many of the people I spend the most time with these days I did not know existed one year ago. I have begun getting involved with things that have made me feel more myself than I have since I woke up the first time when I was 17.  I also met someone who has shown me more love, openness, and acceptance than anyone I have ever encountered before, and I've encountered alot. We have reached levels of trust, understanding, and unabashed reverence of love I have never before understood to be possible, much less experienced. On a couple of occasions, we have BECOME EACHOTHER, and then BECOME EVERYTHING TOGETHER.  I can explain the preceding sentence no further with words. I have been shown by her/us things I can never forget, things that will bring peace and comfort to my mind until I die. Point being, I have recently turned a major, amazing, rejoiceful corner in my life/setting here, just in time to turn and leave it behind.
    Apprehension stems from leaving all this behind, flying away to grad school, and being completely ALONE to deal with the aftermath. Being isolated/alone/untouchable is my biggest source of insecurity and fear. I will make new friends wherever I go, but these things take time.
    Regardless, it will be hard, I wll do it anyway, it will hurt, I will keep doing stuff, I will feel better, I will be stronger. My overmind has known this all along, which is why overmind is making normal mind go through with the preparations, why, as scary as it is, I nevertheless reap an undeniable sense of "all is going according to plan" every time I get the ice in my chest, every time I sit down for some preemptive mourning.
    I'll always be here. I mean, I'm as everywhere always as much as the next "I", right? Well, I'll be a little more always here.
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Love you guys.

Jesus not only saves, he also frequently makes backups. WWJD?

Thank you for accepting me to your molecular biophysics program. Thank you also for flying me to LA and putting me up in a deluxe Sheraton hotel room and paying for all the food and alcohol I want. I feel that the quality of research here is exceptional, and I feel that the small size of the school, coupled with its giant budget, would do well for me. I really like the cross-disciplinary nature of everyone's work, and I find a few of your faculty are doing things that I could easily spend the next decade working on. In addition, your campus is the most beautiful I have ever seen, and the mid-70's winter temperatures I could get used to. However, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN PASADENA?!?! PASADENA IS LIKE WESTLAKE ATE A BUNCH OF GROWTH HORMONE AND STAYED UP FOR A WEEK DOING TAE BO WITH BILLY-FUCKING-BLANKS, Seriously your "strip" is just like 6th street, only every bar/club is replaced with a middle-upper class ethnic fusion  restaurant full of 35-45 year olds who spend so much time making money that they have no time to have kids or find a partner. I was dying to find as much as a shitty, top-40 hiphop club to hang out in last night, to NO AVAIL. WHY DOES CALTECH HAVE TO BE FULL OF PEOPLE WHO I WOULD IMAGINE WOULD GO TO CALTECH, All you people seem BORING AS HELL. If wearing what I wore today gets me weird stares here, the things I typically wear on weekends woud have me exiled to death valley in under a week.


Hence, a proposal.

We will simply cut Caltech campus out of the ground, slip some huge steel girders underneath, drug all the faculty with selective amnesic drugs, and transplant the whole operation to downtown Austin before they ever new what hit them. Whose with me?